Wedding Bells

We had the special experience of attending a Jewish wedding in Mumbai on Sunday. We met the groom, Nissim Reuben, in Washington a couple of months before we left. A friend introduced us, and Nissim was the source of lots of helpful information as we prepared for our assignments.

Nissim is the program officer working in international affairs and Indian/Israel/US relations at the American Jewish Committee in Washington. His bride, Lavina, is a teacher here in Mumbai. Both are Indian Jews, part of the dwindling Jewish community in India. When Nissim realized that we’d be in Mumbai on his wedding day, he extended the invitation.

We were excited about the wedding; eager to see how this life cycle event is celebrated in India. We were not disappointed. More than 500 people packed the Magen Hassidim Synagogue in Agripada, and we were among the five westerners present. It was an arranged marriage, which is not an uncommon practice here. Lavina was beautiful, and she wore a stunning white wedding gown. Nissim wore a dark western suit and tie. While she barely smiled during the ceremony, Nissim beamed.

It was hard to pick up on all the nuances unique to its being an Indian wedding because most of the ceremony was in Hebrew. We were unable to follow much of what the rabbi said beyond the prayers, and many of those were unfamiliar.

At one point, members of the family came up to the hupa (wedding canopy) and provided gifts to the fathers, congratulating them on having married off their children. (A similar ceremony had taken place the day before for the mothers.) At another point, Nissim led Lavina around the synagogue to greet members of the congregation. In many ways, though the service seemed similar to our own Jewish wedding ceremonies. Family and friends had big smiles, and when the groom broke the glass with his foot (a Jewish tradition), everyone clapped.

More than 800 people (800!!) attended the reception which was held in a large school yard that had been carpeted for the event. The bride and groom entered with their bridal party (to Pomp and Circumstance) and headed up onto a stage where they sat on thrones facing their guests. The head of the Jewish Community Center provided the toast in English, acknowledging Nissim’s many accomplishments. He also talked extensively about Lavina’s father, but little was said about her, except that she was a double major. Because it was an arranged marriage, there was nothing about the couple’s history together. Nissim and Lavina both spoke briefly and warmly welcomed everyone.

The food was great, all Chinese and Indian…and all veg. I still can’t figure out how they fed so many people and managed to keep the flies away. (I noticed that behind the serving table, there were women on the ground preparing fresh puri.)

It was a beautiful wedding and a fun reception.

Fashion Notes

We put some real effort into dressing just right for the wedding. Knowing that we were representing our country, we wanted to be sure we were properly attired. I had asked Nissim before we left what I should wear, and he suggested salwar kameez, a traditional Indian dress. I didn’t think to ask what Frank should wear, assuming that if I needed to be dressed in Indian-wear Frank should be as well. We purchased a sherwani for Frank along with mujaris shoes, and he was set….or so we thought! Of the more than 800 guests, Frank was the ONLY ONE dressed in a sherwani. We were hysterical and laughed so hard it hurt.



Work Update

I’m swamped! There’s still so much to do, and the time is passing quickly. This Thursday we head to southern India to visit Dasra partners in villages there. Not sure we’ll have internet access until 12/ 11 when we return.